“There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing” Aristotle
I was once in a discussion group and pondering a comment that someone made when the gentleman next to me noticed the serious look on my face, got my attention, and said “Smile”. He then flashed a grin to show me how it was done.
If you want me to
smack you get perturbed, just tell me to smile. Throw in the grin to complete your annoying endeavor. (Grandma, get a grip!)
The reason this request annoys me so much is because of the research done on expectations for men and women and the way we view men and women in society. This is wonderfully explained in a Hidden Brain podcast that aired March 5, entitled “Men 45, Women 0”.
So here’s my challenge, especially if you’re a man. Listen to the aforementioned podcast. Then, next time your boss or any other male acquaintance is having a fit, especially if they’re using interesting language and throwing things, go up to them and say, “Smile!”. Then flash one of your most lovely grins and wait for the person to turn on the old charm button and give you a warm smile.
Want to read more. If you’re a woman, you really do. Check out the July 6 article Online in Bustle, “Why Do People expect Women to Smile?” Here’s a sample – “… in our culture, a woman’s smile is rarely allowed to be just a smile; it’s often taken as a sign of submission, docility, agreeableness, cooperation, and/ or a lack of female anger and other ‘problematic’ emotions.”
OK. I feel better. But I’m not going to smile for you. I’m only going to smile for myself.
Loveya – The grandma
Artist, African hand drum student, yoga neophyte, and Grandmother of 22 or so grandchildren. I enjoy cooking and writing. I value good friends and quiet times for reading.